5 Reasons to Give Experiences Instead of Gifts
by Brandon Bennett on 11/19/18
Do you remember that Christmas?
I remember the
Christmas that my family drove to my parent’s house in a near whiteout
snowstorm, because Grandma and Grandpa Bennett wanted to see the kids.
I don’t remember what I
got for Christmas. We often tend to value, in the short term, material gifts
over experiences. I don’t know why that is but I can tell you why we should
flip the script on that idea.
The following is from
an article on Entrepeneur.com
The assumption has been that spending money on material possessions would
increase happiness because possessions last longer than an experience. A 20-year study by Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology
professor at Cornell University, found the opposite is true.
Dr. Gilovich is just one of several researchers who believe in the
the Easterlin Paradox. This phenomenon simply states that after
our basic needs have been met, money will only increase happiness to a
certain point for the following reasons:
1.
Happiness over material items quickly fades.
“One of the enemies of happiness is
adaptation,” says Dr. Gilovich. “We buy things to make us happy, and we
succeed. But only for a while. New things are exciting to us at first, but then
we adapt to them.”
Psychologists call this "hedonic adaptation." In other words, the excitement of that new car, iPhone or
furniture set will quickly fade into the background as they become a part of
our daily lives. Experiences, like traveling, attending an art exhibit or
trying a new restaurant become a part of our identity, which brings us greater
satisfaction.
“Our experiences are a bigger part of
ourselves than our material goods,” says Gilovich. “You can really like your
material stuff. You can even think that part of your identity is connected to
those things, but nonetheless they remain separate from you. In contrast, your
experiences really are part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences.”
2.
Experiences define your purpose and passions.
Your daily activities should be guided and
influenced by your purpose and your passions, not material possessions.
Think of it this way. Let’s say that your
favorite musician of all-time is Bruce Springsteen. Even though you have all of
his albums, and some other items like shirts or posters, do all of those
possessions top seeing The Boss in concert? Probably not. In fact, if someone
offered you a front-row ticket in exchange for all of your Bruce memorabilia,
you would probably take them up on that offer in a heartbeat.
3.
Possessions don’t contribute to social relationships.
“We consume experiences directly with other
people,” says Gilovich. “And after they’re gone, they’re part of the stories
that we tell to one another.”
Do you bond more with other people when
discussing material possessions or experiences? Think of Bruce again. When you
run into a fellow fan, you have a certain bond and connection. You can talk
about his music, the concerts you’ve attended and how much his music has
positively impacted your life. That seems like a more in-depth and
interesting conversation that discussing your cars, gadgets, wardrobe or even
your Boss souvenirs, right?
4.
Moments are more memorable.
While experiences are designed to be
fleeting, they provide high level of arousal and memorability thanks to anticipation. Again, let’s revisit
The Boss.
You hear he’s coming to town, so you mark
your calendar not only for the date of the show, but also when tickets go on
sale. You’re anticipating purchasing tickets and then attending a show after
you’ve secured your tickets. Going to this show is an entire experience, not
just a singular moment.
5.
Experiences introduce you to a whole new world.
Unlike stuff, experiences introduce you to
new perspectives, life lessons and the importance of gratitude. Take traveling, for
example. If you live in New York City and travel to West Virginia, you may
realize the pros and cons of living in the Big Apple. Even though there’s
culture, public transportation and plenty to do, that weekend trip south
made you appreciate nature, the quiet and the beauty of clear, starry
nights.
You may realize and come to understand
cultural differences. Even if you don’t agree with these points-of-view, at
least you’ve walked away learning how to be more thoughtful, compassionate,
humble, or grateful.
I don’t tend to remember or think of my
material items when I reflect on my life. I remember….
The first time in the ocean with my son.
Going to Sonic with my daughter and hearing
her laugh.
Traveling with my wife.
Being caught in a rainstorm in Florida, doing
martial arts in the backyard of one of the greatest martial artists I have ever
met.
Your experiences create and define who you
are. Your stuff doesn’t.
MORE SCIENCE!!!!!